Q: I’ve recently joined a company where it seems to be common for supervisors to ask personal favors from their staff. For instance one manager asked the IT guy to come to his house and trouble-shoot his wife’s computer. Another asked one of their direct reports to feed and walk the dog while he was away for the weekend (“she loves animals” he explains). I’ve no idea if they were paid or not, but either way, as a new manager, this makes me very uncomfortable. What’s the protocol for this kind of thing?
A: Your instincts are right. You should feel uncomfortable, which I suspect is exactly what those employees feel when asked.
While there is no law against it, it’s not good business practice to ask subordinates for personal favors. Why? Because the supervisor/subordinate relationship lacks balance of power. So, even if supervisors think -or kid them selves into believing- that the other person can choose to decline their request, it’s really a false choice. We all want to be on the boss’s good side. We don’t want to appear unhelpful or rude. Our only choice is to smile and say “Sure” when asked for example “You love dogs……. would you like to look in on Rufus while we’re away this weekend”?
So even though it may look harmless on the outside, the practice isn’t appreciated by employees and can create resentment. If you think about it, there is little reciprocity. Employees are not in the habit of asking supervisors for personal favors.
The most egregious example I’ve encountered was a manager who asked for volunteers to help him move to his new house. About 10 people turned up, not so much because they were eager to help but rather no one wanted to be the guy who didn’t show up. Speaking of reciprocity, can you imagine asking your supervisor to help you move?
Note to managers – Before asking favors, put yourself in your staff’s shoes: How would you feel if your boss asked you for the same? Or better yet, ask favors only of your peers and fellow managers. They have a true choice to say no.
© Copyright Eva Del Rio
