Q: For five years I’ve worked for a very lucrative and successful family-owned business. Like most such businesses this one employs several family members.

For some time, the owner (a micromanager) has been talking about retiring and handing over the business to his two sons, but he complains they’re not ready to take the reins. Indeed, his sons are unprepared and deferential.  What this well-meaning but overbearing patriarch doesn’t realize is that grooming for leadership includes sharing the wheel and stepping back. He’s done neither.

As a non-relative, how can I help him see this?

A: As a non-relative you’re actually in the best position to advise him because no one can blame you of acting out of self-interest.

Family-owned businesses enjoy several advantages such as working with people you know and trust, and having less turnover since relatives usually stick around longer.

But family-owned businesses also endure some disadvantages. One of these is eschewing good management practices by letting your familial relationship overshadow what should be a business relationship.*

For instance, in a regular company, the CEO would have written a development plan to prepare (the sons) for possible future leadership. That would include exposing them to different aspects of the business and slowly increasing their responsibilities. It would also include assessing individual strengths and weaknesses, as well as personal aspirations.

In this case, it sounds like the sons aren’t acting the way employees and possible future leaders might act toward a boss, but more like sons wanting to please their father. Or sons who aren’t sure what he wants.

Both the father and sons may be following some long held family dynamic from childhood.

Maybe there’s sibling rivalry, maybe there’s a favorite son. Maybe one of them wants to become a professional golfer. Lord knows what weird family baggage they are carrying into work everyday.

Perhaps the best way you can help is by offering the owner some of your knowledge and suggestions to prepare for handing over the reins (Try googling “succession planning”). Tell him he doesn’t have to reinvent the wheel. There are tried and true ways of doing this. There is no need to wing it.

*That’s why I’m not a fan when businesses brag “we treat employees like a family”, to me that’s NOT a good thing.

©Copyright Eva Del Rio

Eva Del Rio is creator of HR Box™ – tools for small businesses and startups. Send questions to Eva@evadelrio.com