Q: How do you know if your leadership style is not working? I’m a new manager and I’m trying hard to be a leader to my team. I’ve read lots of leadership books but I don’t think what I’m doing is having the desired effect. My employees don’t seem happy. What should I do?

A: First, let’s distinguish leadership from management, since there are important differences. Managing tends to involve overseeing tasks, processes and results of subordinates you manage, who are then required to do as you say. A leader is someone who inspires the “Why” of the tasks, processes and results everyone is working on, and clarifies the “How” to get it all done. Unlike managers, leaders don’t necessarily need subordinates, people willingly follow because they want to, not because they have to.

So how do you know if your leadership attempts aren’t working? I’ve found 2 tell tale signs.

1)      Are your employees surprised or taken aback by decisions you make? If they are, it means they don’t know your decision-making rationale and are unable to anticipate what you’ll do next. This is unsettleting. Whether it’s parents, politicians or bosses, everyone wants to know what to expect of those in charge. A consistently angry boss is actually less stressful than one who is sometimes nice and sometimes mean. At least you have predictability. Not knowing how your boss is going to behave or what decisions will be made, can result in unhappy employees. So, are you inconsistent in your decisions ? Are you impulsive? Do you respond emotionally? If so, that’s a problem.

2)      Are you having to “pull rank” to get others to do what you say? If you find yourself in the role of enforcer that would be another red flag. In a well lead team, there should almost never be a need to pull rank, people should be doing what needs to get done without being forced.

Have you considered having a mentor? Is there someone in your circle (not necessarily in your chain of command) that you respect, that might be willing to help in that role? You’d be surprised how many people are happy to do that. Remember, being a leader is not something you decide to do and it’s done. A leader is something you become over time with experience and wisdom. And patience.

©Copyright Eva Del Rio

Eva Del Rio is creator of HR Box™ – tools for small businesses and startups. Send questions to Eva@evadelrio.com