Q: It’s come to my attention that the employee who manages our budget -makes purchases, makes payments, etc- took money out for personal use and put it back a week later.

I understand that this is not theft because he replaced the money, but what he did was wrong. He doesn’t know that I’m aware of what happened, and I could just stay quiet and let it go. The problem is I no longer trust him to be in charge of the budget. What’s the best way to address this sensitive topic with him?

A: You are correct that technically this isn’t theft since he replaced it. And perhaps he was hoping the whole thing would never be noticed.

But trust is a delicate thing, and once you know someone is capable of doing something dishonest with money, that trust can shatter and makes you wonder what other areas of dishonesty may manifest. So, what’s important is to hear what he has to say, how he rationalizes the whole episode.

Here’s what I suggest:

Meet with him and calmly let him know you know what happened. Then do not judge: don’t accuse, reprimand, scold or shame him, nothing of the sort. Instead, listen. Simply ask a very open ended question and let him tell you what happened. Something like: “Joe, help me understand how this happened”. “Joe, walk me thru your thought process as you decided to do this”.

Listening to his response will give you an opportunity to gauge his decision making and judgment. For instance, if he feels terrible and, looking back on it, agrees that it was a mistake, and seems mortified that you found out, and explains why he was desperate at the time, that’s mitigating for me. I’d just take budget duties away and keep him.

If on the other hand he has a “what’s the big deal”, “I replaced the money”, “everybody does it” rationale, then you have a problem. This is someone who is capable of rationalizing dishonesty and that could extend to lying, manipulating, or misrepresenting things in the future. This is not someone whose judgment I trust and therefore wouldn’t want on my team.

Hopefully he is in the first category. In my experience these type of employees (who make a mistake, recognize it and own up to it) are usually very grateful to have been given a second chance.

©Copyright Eva Del Rio

Eva Del Rio is creator of HR Box™ – tools for small businesses and startups. Send questions to Eva@evadelrio.com