Q: For the past six months since my boss left, I’ve been “interim” director of my department. I was 99% sure that I’d be chosen to fill the position permanently. I’d practically been told so by our leadership, who dropped hints and were giving every indication to my colleagues and me that I was a shoo-in. I told family and friends. Then to my great disappointment (and embarrassment) someone else was chosen. One day I’m on top of the world, next day it’s back to the same old. What’s the best way to handle this sudden change of events gracefully?
A: Whether it’s a promotion, a special recognition or an award, it’s difficult when you believe you’ve won something and then lose it.
Many of us have been through some version of this. We’ve applied for a promotion that appears to be a slam dunk, complete with the informal nods of support and approvals from higher ups, we were measuring the office drapes and oops, you find it’s a no go.
But professionalism, and the high road will help you and those around you get through this awkward time gracefully. At work, don’t act like a sore loser or a malcontent. Dig deep if you have to, but comport yourself with confidence and professionalism at all times. Avoid pettiness, instead be courteous and civil with the new person, and those who made the decisions. Know that everyone is looking to you for cues on how to react to your plight. So if you appear self-assured and professional, others will feel at ease. If you act like a victim, you’ll attract pity, which you should avoid like the plague.
The healthiest thing you can do is to move forward. Companies sometimes make puzzling decisions that have nothing to do with the quality of your talent, but more to do with long range plans you may not be aware of, or office politics, or a tight budget.
You should also do an honest self-assessment, ask a trusted mentor or respected peer on the outside to give you feedback. Are there areas you could improve? Do you have a blind spot? (We all do). Dealing with rejection is no fun, but you can come out stronger, more resilient.
Finally, ask yourself: What are my future chances for moving ahead in this organization? Do I want to stay in this environment? Should I find another playing field?
©Copyright Eva Del Rio
