Like many of you, I’ve been trying to figure out ways to be a better ally to black colleagues and friends. Frankly, I’m not sure what to do. I’ve found that it’s best to listen. I also like to read black journalists, writers and other black voices.
Then I came upon a perfectly titled article How to be a better ally for your black coworkers on CNBC.com and I want to share the author’s advice (with my own twist).
Recognize your privilege
I know what you’re thinking, “What privilege, I didn’t get any handouts, I worked hard for everything I’ve accomplished.” And that’s true. But white privilege is less about having advantages and more about being spared minor indignities, fear, and general anxiety about just living your life. Life is hard for all of us. White privilege is not having to waste our energy on worry that a small incident (like a traffic stop, or going jogging) will place us or our kids in mortal danger.
Check in and Support
It’s hard to know what to say to a black colleague. And they may be acting as if it’s business as usual. But it’s unrealistic to think that the trauma we are witnessing in the news is not affecting our black coworkers in a particularly painful and personal way.
The author of a popular essay “Maintaining Professionalism In The Age of Black Death Is….A Lot” makes it very plain that this is a very difficult time.
She writes: “…. a black man died face down on the ground because a white cop suffocated him. But yeah, I can totally have that presentation for you by end of day, Ted. No problem.”
You can try checking in and saying “I can’t imagine how you are feeling” or “I’m here if you want an ear to listen”. Or if you’re the boss, “This is a lot, it’s okay if you want to take a day off” or something similar. I’d avoid asking “Are you doing okay?” because it’s actually a burden to have to answer that question truthfully.
Don’t Remain Silent
The best way to be an ally is to speak up when it might be difficult (or impossible) for an oppressed group to do so. I’m not talking about playing the white savior. I’m talking about the conversations you have with your white family and friends or online. Be an advocate in those situations. Whatever “wokeness” you’ve arrived at from your reading and listening, share it. Silence implies all is well. And all is not well.
I’m not exactly white, but I have do have this platform. And this is my own way to not Remain Silent.
©Copyright Eva Del Rio
Eva Del Rio is creator of HR Box™ – tools for small businesses and startups. Send questions to Eva@evadelrio.com
Recommended YouTube. Uncomfortable conversations with a Black man
Recommended explanation of white priviledge. It’s not what you think. What I said when my white friend asked for my black opinion on white priviledge.
Recommended book by Robin DiAngelo’s (who is white): “White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism,” she explains how it is critical for white people to have uncomfortable conversations about race.
