Q: A co-worker with whom I’ve worked for over 10 years -a very sweet, kind person- is driving me and everyone else nuts. He’s always been a talker but lately it’s gotten much worse. He talks incessantly about everything -his health, family, the weather. I keep working while he talks, hoping he’ll get the hint but he never does. He also seems unable to listen, and constantly interrupts, including during meetings. So it’s exhausting and stressful trying to have a conversation with him about work, because he’ll meander away to some unrelated subject, so people avoid interacting with him. I recently became his supervisor and I’m at a loss on how to deal with this without hurting his feelings.
A: Incessant talkers reside along a spectrum ranging from annoying over-chattiness, to those whose behavior is so excessive that it affects their work and other important relationships.
It sounds like something is causing your employee to move from being the annoying but good-natured co-worker that everyone tolerates, to someone who’s a source of such frustration and stress that it’s affecting meeting effectiveness, teamwork and the whole department’s performance.
As with any other unacceptable or disruptive behavior, your first step as a supervisor is to make him aware -though verbal counseling– that there’s a problem. Be tactful but honest in describing his recent behavior.
Because incessant talkers are often not attending to the social cues of others, they do not “get the hint”, so it’s very possible that he’s not even aware of his behavior, much less how it negatively impacts those around him. Be prepared to give some concrete examples.
Offer your support in helping him modify his behavior. Perhaps agree on a hand gesture to signal when he’s talking excessively. (BTW, if he’s interrupting you during this meeting, use it as an immediate example.) If all goes well, he’ll be able to alter his behavior and things go back to tolerable over-chattiness.
But it’s possible that in spite of both your efforts, he may not improve and may need additional help, such as a referral to the company’s employee assistance program. In some cases, talking incessantly may be a symptom of larger psychological issues, best handled by professionals.
© Copyright Eva Del Rio
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Q: A co-worker with whom I’ve worked for over 10 years -a very sweet, kind person- is driving me and everyone else nuts. He’s always been a talker but lately it’s gotten much worse. He talks incessantly about everything -his health, family, the weather. I keep working while he talks, hoping he’ll get the hint but he never does. He also seems unable to listen, and constantly interrupts, including during meetings. So it’s exhausting and stressful trying to have a conversation with him about work, because he’ll meander away to some unrelated subject, so people avoid interacting with him. I recently became his supervisor and I’m at a loss on how to deal with this without hurting his feelings. A: Incessant talkers reside along a spectrum ranging from annoying over-chattiness, to those whose behavior is so excessive that it affects their work and other important relationships. It sounds like something is causing your employee to move from being the annoying but good-natured co-worker that everyone tolerates, to someone who’s a source of such frustration and stress that it’s affecting meeting effectiveness, teamwork and the whole department’s performance. As with any other unacceptable or disruptive behavior, your first step as a supervisor is to make him aware -though verbal counseling– that there’s a problem. Be tactful but honest in describing his recent behavior. Because incessant talkers are often not attending to the social cues of others, they do not “get the hint”, so it’s very possible that he’s not even aware of his behavior, much less how it negatively impacts those around him. Be prepared to give some concrete examples. Offer your support in helping him modify his behavior. Perhaps agree on a hand gesture to signal when he’s talking excessively. (BTW, if he’s interrupting you during this meeting, use it as an immediate example.) If all goes well, he’ll be able to alter his behavior and things go back to tolerable over-chattiness. But it’s possible that in spite of both your efforts, he may not improve and may need additional help, such as a referral to the company’s employee assistance program. In some cases, talking incessantly may be a symptom of larger psychological issues, best handled by professionals. © Copyright Eva Del Rio |
